Hell on Earth is what a pizzagate survivor experiences everyday. We wake up and the same people who raped and tortured us are pinnacles of society and we, the survivors are looked down on constantly for even trying to expose our stories as truth. Most people would rather believe we are lying for fame rather than that SRA abuse still happens everyday. I say, think about what it’s like to be known and remembered for fucking pizzagate and you might think about it all differently. I promise not a single pizzagate survivor wants their name to go down in history, being remembered on wikipedia and everywhere else for being tortured into having split personalities and raped for years.
If you wonder what how I got mixed up in pizzagate I will tell you: My mother.
I did not go to comet pizza but I know how the upper eshalons of society work, there are million pizzagate places in plain site. My mother has never confessed to knowing my years of rape but there are a million memories I have now that say to therapists she definitely knew and was involved. Every therapist I have seen thinks she knew very well what was happening and it’s no coincidence she was a child protective agent, later became a supervisor of CPS for the state of Alaska.
Flashback: It’s the year 2002 and I’m standing in my kitchen having a fight with my mom. It’s 7th grade and she’s recently told me we are moving again. We are looking at houses with her new boyfriend, Ethan (who ends up being my rapist). They are out in the country. I hate moving we do it almost every year. I call her a bitch. She slaps me. I tell her I’m going to call CPS. She tells me she IS CPS. She laughs. She tells me I better be careful or she will sell me into white slavery. I laugh and tell her that’s not a thing. She assures me it is.
At first my mom worked during the day for child protective services of the neighboring county. Then my mom got a job working overnights at some mental hospital. I don’t remember her actually being around much. Ethan (my second step-father) was and still is the current linux admin for my community, he worked from home building computers. He currently lives about 10 minutes away from me. I spent most of my time with Ethan smoking pot and drinking at night. I don’t actually remember the first time it happened but the summer we moved in Ethan set up a old military tent in the backyard. He slept in it with me more nights than my mother.
I was 13 and that was the age I learned how to be a whore. I learned that you put on make-up and look pretty so you can be someone’s arm candy all the places they want to go. I learned what happened when I fought back against someone over a foot taller than me. Ethan and I often had fights, broke doors and walls and stuff in general. I learned if I wanted something I had to do something extra for it but there wasn’t much out of my grasp. They even let me join my first coven. I learned that I was blacking things out but didn’t scratch the itch. At the age of 13 my single biggest fear was that I was going to get pregnant with my step father’s child and have to have an abortion. It is no wonder I was blacking out my life. Every month I would be so very happy I actually got my period. I told myself it wasn’t happening, that it was a dream or it only happened a few times. I learned to have relationships with boyfriends who were physically and emotionally unavailable so I didn’t have to lie to anyone. Ethan laughed at all my attempts at boyfriends. Though he did tell me I deserved better on every account.
My mental trauma from Ethan was so severe I was diagnosed as severe PTSD at age 15. It wasn’t just the night terrors of him getting back together with my mom or the flashbacks, I couldn’t have normal relationships with anyone. Every guy I dated wanted to know what I tasted like and I refused to let them. When I was 17 I had a boyfriend hold me down and try and I started crying. He told me he wasn’t into raping girls. I tried to tell him what was wrong with me but it was TMI. I’d be really rich if I had $10 for every person who asked what the fuck is wrong with me and upon explanation thought it was TMI.
Ethan used to take me out of state with him to Massachusetts. We would stop at the liquor store in NH on the way down and grab wine coolers. We would get blitzed all the way there. I remember going several times but the only thing I actually remember doing was going for a walk through Boston Gardens and being on the coast. I think we took his son to a park by his dad’s house outside of Boston. I tried to look at it like he was my older boyfriend instead of my step father. A lot of girls my age had much older boyfriends, mine was just… also my moms husband. Two people at school actually knew, who I told and swore to secrecy. One was my boyfriend. He wanted to tear off Ethan’s face. His name was Eric and I adored him. He got expelled from school for selling weed at school for his mom so they could pay the bills. When I got expelled we somehow got lucky and ended up at the same same school. He really helped me through the last of my teenage years, both him and Justin. I ended up marrying Justin though. I had 2/3 boyfriends in high school…. because I couldn’t sleep at night so I partied instead. Everyday.
If you are wondering how I escaped pizzagate well that is a very short story.
I had been anorexic, bulimic, cutting, and burning myself for almost three years before someone intervened for me. All the assholes at school made fun of me and told me I was trying to attention and I should really just kill myself already as some of them knew I had tried numerous times to absolutely no avail. I told one of my boyfriends one day I had already taken a bunch of pills. (Truth, I was doing loads of them.) I went for a walk to puke up my food. In the meantime he thought I overdosed and called the police.
I’m in an ambulance. They are asking me what I took. I promise them I took nothing. (I lied). I knew they would stomach pump me.
I’m at the hospital. A regular one. My mom is asking me why I did this. She is wearing a powder pink outfit. I tell her she knows why. She looks at me. I tell her Ethan already told me she knew.
I was never told not to tell or that someone would kill me. I was told my mother already knew and that we don’t talk about it. Her whole face turned the exact same blushy shade of pink as her stupid outfit. I can still see the (guilty?) look on her face and I still think she knew.
For me it was off to Arkham. Or, a mental hospital. I don’t remember how long I was there but it was a Catholic facility. Boys and girls were not allowed sit on the same couch or touch each other.To this day the words “group therapy” make me want to spontaneously combust and kill someone. I’d rather be in solitary confinement.
They put me on a variety of drugs that made me worse and no one cared. My mother insisted I was perfectly fine.
I came home one day and found our trash had been torn open by animals. Right in front of me was a letter from Ethan. It suggested my mother had been seeing him in pedo prison (he only got 11 months). And that he and my mother were going to hide their relationship from me, the state and CPS til I was 18. Insert night terrors here. Confrontations with my mother become physical.
Plus after I got out of the hospital my mother had moved us, and I found in my computer a set of folders Ethan left me. In the containing hidden folder 1st folder was titled “KASEY” Inside contained a folder titled “eternally sorry for the pain I have caused.” Inside that contained a folder that just said “Gonzo” and to this day I wonder if he really was sorry. I remember him taking me to his friend’s houses, who he said “had daughters/step daughters in the same position as you.” I can remember him telling me he picked me when I was 9 and he came over to visit my mom. I remember the visit because it was the day I got my first pair of converse shoes. It all sounds extremely premeditated on possibly both his and my mother’s accounts. And it actually suggests more. I have to wonder what exactly I was being groomed for?
About 2 months later:
I started giving my grandmother melatonin at night in hot cocoa to steal the car (laugh) 🙂 I moved in with my grandparents after my mother moved to China the country with my brother. Justin helped me discover how to enjoy sex on my own terms.
But even though I had become free from my step father and my mother my grandparents were too old to deal with my issues leftover from my indiscretions. I just did what I wanted. My grandmother knew I was sneaking out every night but my grandfather was too old to handle extra stress so she let it go completely. I walked to my boyfriend’s houses and partied and fucked them til the sun came up. Then I’d go to school 😀 I had three boyfriends. They were all sweet. Eric always left lilacs on the car after walking me home at night. My grandparents loved it.
That is how I escaped pizzagate. My boyfriends helped me. My mom currently lives in Alaska and I hope she stays there. My father pretends I don’t exist. My grandfather is dead and my grandmother and I still maintain a good relationship. My brother claims I’m crazy and making everything up. But he was young and drugged up since age 5, he doesn’t even remember being at my wedding.
New Year’s Eve 2005 Justin and I were handfasted together. We got officially married in 2012.
My story is not unique. Many people get sold off to other humans, it is human trafficking. Sometimes they traffic people for hunting, eating, organs, to rape or to marry and breed. Sometimes even just to make that person into a supersoldier if they have talent in certain areas. This totally happens in the military too. As per Hitler’s nazi supersoldier program women are still sold off to men to clear debts or just under the table to breed out for various purposes. (Sexual exploitation is not just for women though.) Sometimes known as wife breeding in porn. Occult investigators know to look for scars, tattoos and brands on their victims. This happens in every level of society from the bottom to the top. When my mother ran off to China, Ethan’s mother actually called my grandparents and asked where she was. She claimed my mother had stolen $10,000. I wonder why my mom would do that?……. (She instructed us to say she was in like New Zealand or something if anyone was asking.) I wonder if my mom thought all the drugs and shit they did to me in the hospital would make me forget all this 🙂
Some of the memories I pull from are Tris’ but I was already manifesting PK power by 13 so I realize both our spirits existed side by side by that time. If Tris is the original then I had to have been placed in the body at some point. I already suspected MILAB or ET involvement. Tris and I are literally two different spirits trapped inside one body. It is hell. I can hear her, she can hear me, and we also hear people’s thoughts and other creepy shit. We disagree about a lot of things because she’s mentally about 17. My therapists thought I was a “protective alter” but I insist I am my own spirit.
Really fucked up shit is happening. In both the world and in my personal life.
I unlocked a part of my brain with which appears to be a personality split off Tris at age 4/5 from some sort of abuse. She manifests literally for me. I don’t mean I’m seeing things that are not there. I mean to say she literally tortures Justin like a poltergeist if he’s mean to me, when I am angry she messes up my house like in the Stephen King novel “Carrie.” The only time in my life it’s ever been this bad was when I was going through abuse with Ethan. And I called her Rin. After Sesshomaru’s little friend in Inuyasha. She was a demon that was created and worked together with me. I sent her after rapists I read about to test out my limits with her. The day I knew she was real I went to pee and she literally handed me toilet paper, like picked it up from the edge hanging and handed it me. I suddenly felt like Tyler Durdan. I suppose giving her a name helped manifest her to be real. Maybe she’s a demon, maybe she’s a manifested split of Tris’s soul, but my family knows she’s real. The scary part is I DO NOT control her, she’s got quite the homicidal mind of her own. My family lived with her and she loves them… well except Justin. I even let someone borrow her, but we havn’t introduced him just yet. We are getting there though. I like to think he’s my own Sesshomaru, because he’s older and wise. His knowledge makes him a little terrifying but his character underneath is loving and kind. Rin loved him right away. In fact she has not returned to me since she decided she liked him so much 😀
I’m getting trapped in my dreamworld. For up to 14 hours at a time. I even know I’m dreaming I just can’t get out. I have dreams about people I trust trying to carve sigils into my body. I have dreams about being trapped in the Underworld. My family has to slap me awake because I’m screaming in real life but I can’t wake up. I’m having trouble doing regular things, like laundry or cooking or anything other than sleeping and researching. My facebook group is on a tear. Pizzagate comes out, wikileaks drop, everyone is sending me information I’m trying to share as fast as possible and also keep several backups as I possess enough material to take down the world’s governments, thanks to whistleblowers and Julian Assange, NYPD and years of compiling evidence. Women everywhere are trying to speak out about rape and pizzagate and the Trump rape culture we now live in. I try. I’m still switching personality time with Tris. I ask her to ghost write part of my first chapter of this book, she does.
One night before Trump was even elected we struggled to get the Trump-Epstein rape case affidavit posted to facebook (it was being blocked), and pizzagate was killing her. I’d let her write this part but she hasn’t been back since. She made up her own ritual and said that she would surrender her body to absolutely anything that would get justice for what was done to her, and us. And I have been here since. I can still hear her, but like the bathtub incident, she gave up the control so we no longer have a struggle. For now.
It IS still, however, unfair we are both trapped in here.
Yes, I do want to be separated.
I am hoping to ascend out of this meat suit.
In the midst of realizing people did not care that we have pedos running for president and in fact denied the possibility of it being true; Tris and I decide if Julian Assange is right and this pedo ring apocalypse coming to light brings down the world governments and economies and causes the temporary collapse of society as we know it…. neither of us gave a fuck anymore. We are both sickened by people who act like our life being ruined and fucked with is some kind of entertainment to judge. We decided a great amount of spineless people probably deserved to die anyways.
I have literally never been consumed with so much darkness as the weeks before Trump was elected. The whole world could have burned around me and I would have laughed. My husband and I were having horrible fights because I couldnt have sex with all the memories pizzagate was triggering and that was beginning to strain our relationship. I felt like the world was going to hell and I was going with it.
This is how I got kicked out of lodge:
In my halfway hysteria, I had been avoiding going to lodge for several months because the people running my lodge were voting for the pedophiles I was exposing. When I brought my problems to my lodgemaster, asking for help and well as demanding answers I was told I was insane. I challenged him to a magickal dual to prove I was not and he banned me from lodge and then blocked me on facebook. I halfway expected the treatment I got so I was not that sad or surprised. I suppose I was just looking for a reason to leave the people who gave me 100 reasons not to trust them.
And so there it was, I was alone again… my two years of work in OTO done. I slid my ring off my finger and put it away. I barely felt a thing. I probably should have listened to that strange guy who messaged me a year ago and told me OTO would be nothing but trouble for me. But I thought he was crazy or something. I get a lot of bizarre messages. But I’m thinking about that. I wonder who he really was because all the things he said he was right about. Even though I was too young and stubborn to listen.
I’m scrolling through my facebook wall one random day before the election and I’m lightly trolling idiots. I come across a post and I wrote in the comments that everything going on other than pizzagate did not matter and that he should be paying attention to that instead. I didn’t think anything else about it.
I later check my notifications and this guy comments on my pizzgate protest event. Oh yes, I had protest for pizzagate at my state capitol before the election even happened. No one really came because no one really cares. But my family and I had a good day holding up #stophumantrafficking signs and a lot of people responded well to the message. I can assume it helped since now mostly everyone knows what pizzagate is. Anyways, this guy …. he leaves me a comment since I suppose he saw me arguing about why I’m a Luciferean. What does he say?
He says “I’m Ambassador Vholïk from the year 2106″ followed by a long discussion on how he’s shot down UFO’s and pizzagate and how this all involves some cosmic war that has been going on for a very long time. And he really reminds me of this other guy I had been talking to. I’m intrigued.
I listen to supersoldier talk all the time, and I’m a UFOlogist at heart, I find myself completely intrigued because all his answers just lead to 100 more questions. So I add Ambassador Vholïk to my group and I make him an admin since he seems to know way more than me and every time I talk to this guy, I learn new things. I don’t know who this guy really is, but I really like him so far. I call him Craig and Jedi Master Sir.
I add him to our group admin chat and he starts teaching us all these amazing things. He shows us how to build God technology, or zero point systems, laser weapons, he’s talking about quantum computers and time travel. I suddenly have a million things to do and research. He appears to know the future(s) and is constantly right about how things will play out. I find myself staying up all night just so I can ask him all the crazy questions no one has any answers to.
I start…. feeling…. better.
I’m suddenly more able to be up in the morning, to do the laundry, to cook dinner and be optimistic. I’m enjoying life more. I’m finding ways to have fun again. I’m putting on make up because I want to look nice and not wearing give up on life pants everyday.
I’m hiding most of this from my husband because I’m pretty sure he’s going to go ballistic at how much deeper down the rabbit hole I’m going. Justin hates it when the things I know put us in danger. But I have become used to the fact that’s just my life. I figure I’ll have to tell him at some point but that’ll be a bridge to cross when he cares enough to look into what I’m doing or gets jealous I’m talking to someone else. I give it three weeks.
Now, it isn’t that I stopped loving my husband. The fact of the matter is that I am here in a body with another spirit, and she loves Justin. I share her feeling as I share the body. I know their memories. But I have always, and I DO mean ALWAYS, felt like I don’t belong here. I was the part of us that always snuck out at night as a teenager and got into trouble. I was the part of us that is always looking for something more because I do not belong here. Two spirits are NOT supposed to exist in the same body it’s fucking unnatural. I don’t care much anymore where I go as long as I can escape this life of knowing everything and seeing it from the outside. I wanted to join the air force and Justin wouldn’t let me. It’s not that he’s a villain. It’s that he cares about me and wants to protect me more than anything. I sort of just want to go have crazy adventures. I want to time travel and scuba dive the Nile, and go to the moon. I’m a spirit that will never be satisfied being someone’s princess. But Tris, the other spirit is. She is stuck in the back of my mind waiting for me to finish my work so I can be moved on and she can have the body back. I spent the last 5 years studying ascension not because I wondered if it could be true but because I wanted OUT.
And so here comes this mysterious stranger, Ambassador Vholïk. I can’t tell if he’s a man in black, or an ascended master, or a supersoldier, or all three. When I tell him my problems he helps me find solutions. He starts working with me on being a clear channel instead of letting all the voices kill me all the time. I still use music and earbuds to tune out voices all the time but I hear everything clearer. Even him in my head sometimes. I can tell when I am hearing someone’s thoughts because I hear what they think and then they say it. If I am around someone I try not to say “what?” if I hear something weird because then I get the crazy look of “omg she just heard what I was thinking!” He’s amazing and smart, I really like him and I know my husband’s going to hate this. But he’s helping me become better when everyone thought I would only get worse.
And suddenly I’m wondering… Is this why I’ve been studying ascension for years now and was guided all my life to the information that would free me from this crazy dilemma?
And my husband still doesn’t seem to understand at this point that I’m obsessed with magick to fix myself. I feel bad that I can’t just be happy and enjoy life like everyone else seems to. I try to, but at the end of the day I’m researching Saint Germain and DNA and meditating to other worlds.
I decided that even if I had to go to the aliens or ascended beings themselves who were probably responsible for this that I wanted out and I wanted to give Tris her life back. This was a private decision. I didn’t tell Justin because I knew what he’d say. He’d say he loved me and he wanted us both to stay and I’d tell him being in my shoes is very hard and he couldn’t possibly understand. I love him, and my family. But I don’t belong here like this. It’s not good for anyone. I needed help and everything else including western medicine had already failed. I knew Justin would be not be happy I was trusting someone else to help me and so for all these reasons, I remained quiet about everything. People acted like they were disappointed I couldn’t just live a normal life and they have no idea the first thing about “my life”……. So I just kept quiet and waited for people to ask the right questions. Sometimes they do. Sometimes I do too.
I am left feeling like I am not allowed to have my own feelings so I keep them a secret. People don’t like how I feel so I don’t tell them. I disappoint them with my attitude and the words that escape my mouth. People want me to feel and act a certain way so I try. It’s never really enough though. But Tris is good at it. I am just apologetically me. That’s why I don’t fit into a world of fake people.
Craig said that I will have what I am looking for when I’m done my mission here. I set to work trying to finish what I have left to do even though I wasn’t sure where the end even was, but I didn’t much care as long as I got out of this meat suit trap. I sensed it had something to do with exposing pizzagate as that’s what I was working hardest on since before Trump was elected. It seemed most important.It was the worst thing for my personal life and the hardest path to take so I figured playing by “God”‘s frustrating rules it would be the most rewarding someday.
I used to hate waking up everyday on this planet but when Craig came into my life something in my heart sparked again. Suddenly I could feel the warmth of my daughter’s hugs and the love coming from her little heart for me. Some people might call it post partum depression or something but after my breakdown and the bathtub indecent (see chapter 1), I lost my foster daughter, my niece Charlie… and I felt like the worst parent ever. I think I gave up on being alive for a while. The year of 2016 just killed me. It was like this amazingly weird internet relationship brought me back to life. Everyday I had new questions to ask him and things to research and learn and do. The progress from it made me…. happy. He made me happy. And so it was that a strange relationship was formed between me and someone I didn’t actually know… but I really really wanted to.
And then one day I realized it. I realized the thread I was pulling, and I knew people were scared of what I was doing because the truth behind pizzagate is an apocalypse waiting to happen. And it all related back to the lengthy cosmic war that Ambassador Sir was trying to tell me about and Earth was smack in the middle of. It dawned on me that the people loyal to pizzagate (and the numbers are fucking huge), are sacrificing children to ancient Gods and traditions as well as eating the population they have been inhabited here for a very long time inside the Earth. Our planet is awaiting a war between the evil Draconian ETs who are eating us everyday as well as trafficking, and the humans and hybrids who want to be free.
When you open your third eye, in my opinion it’s like being schizophrenic. You see all the cracks in between this reality and the others. I tried to study shamanism, occultism east and west to not go completely insane and end up in a mental hospital. It took me a ton more research to figure out a new theory.
Lucid dreaming is the first step to merging the unconscious mind with the conscious part. I theorize it may be a catalyst in fusing the 24th chromosome leading to an evolutionary jump in history. Why? Because I THINK I now understand lucid dreaming and sleep paralysis. In the minutes before you wake up from a dream, SOMETIMES the body becomes trapped in a terrifying state where the body is reacting in real life with eyes open, BUT the dream world is STILL overlaid. What happens if you end up like me, not sleeping, insomniatic, and start living in that world ALL THE TIME? You end up in the state – being conscious and experiencing the UN-conscious. And that’s only the START.
Why would you go and do a thing like that?
Because human DNA was shut off one set of chromosomes when we were genetically engineered. Why? Because Earth was turned into a soul trapping matrix planet. And this body, has TWO souls in it, and neither of us are happy about it. I’m sure Tris would like to be gardening and having tea parties. And me? From the time I was looking at stars and finding Orion I wanted to get off this planet. Endless car trips looking at the night sky left me wanting to return to the cosmos. I remember camping and seeing UFOs by the time I was 8 so I was hoping eventually one of them might just pick me up.
…… I should have been careful what I wished for.
I had no way of knowing that the only beings who need to use UFOs are 5th dimensional which means they have not “ascended” to 6th dimensional light bodies. That doesn’t mean the are evil, but they are helping us to help themselves; at least the ones who aren’t eating us. From what I understand these beings cannot ascend until their mission helping us be freed is done because they played a role in enslaving us to begin with. Wars were fought over Earth.
And I had lived my whole life being told by hippys to love the Earth, but I never really had much relationship with it. Gravity was the only thing keeping me here in my opinion. I knew I had been trapped here for many incarnations and I remembered some. I gained access to the Akashic records beginning in 2012 when I started communicating with Thoth. Sometimes it felt like me and the Earth were complete polar opposites. I realized that it was genetic library of every soul’s experiences here. And still, all I wanted was to never come back to it. Not until it was done being a slave planet. I grew up loving Joseph Campbell and the Hero’s Journey and when it came down to it, I really hated my own. I stopped trying to commit suicide when I realized I’d be reincarnated into the hellhole until I ascended out. And that meant finishing my mission, my hero’s journey. Even though it fucking sucked. I HATE the things I have to remember. But maybe I can learn to hate it less if what I do helps make Earth not a slave planet anymore.
And here I was: feeling much like Lucifer himself after being kicked out of heaven.
And finally, at my darkest point I realize: God is a fucking asshole. And it is also awaiting all things to return to the all encompassing Prime Creator/ Original Thought. Did any of us actually ask to be created in the first place? I’m pretty sure prime creator was just experimenting when he created the beings that rule heaven and/or were cast out. And in turn, some of them engineered us. I’m going to be the first to say I really do not agree with “God’s” rules of who enters heaven. I hate feeling like I was created to be any of the God’s entertainment and/or science project. Or WORSE: That everything I do was predestined and I’m playing out something I have no freewill in. And most humans are so materially focused they can’t and won’t even acknowledge this even if they sense there are a great many things which seem to prove the truth. Buy another distraction, eat, breed, obey. And if you can’t be happy doing that, well, there’s just something wrong with you (and pills for that).
But even my part in this, wanting to escape with countless others… that’s just a part in the grand design too. After all, how else does the alpha point in the universe get to the omega point on one linear timeline?
And underneath it all, even though I felt detached from human form…. I still felt connected to them…humans. And beyond that…. more than ever, I wanted to free them. And myself.
Trump was elected president, the New year 2017 rang in…. and as the world discovered Pizzagate, I was learning battle magick, occult science, and falling in love again; despite the fact my brain couldn’t find a way to make it all work out. Every time I visualized an outcome for the situation it didn’t end well for someone.
And so I finally told myself, I didn’t want to choose between either of the people I loved. Whoever wanted to walk out of my life, well, that was on them. And I wasn’t afraid of ending up alone either. I’ve been alone with what I know my whole life on Earth. And it has sucked to say the least but it’s not new. I love being alone. I have thought to myself many times I wanted to buy a piece of property and have a small house for myself off grid, just so when I needed alone time I could get away. I’m starting to think I just need a Tardis.
In truth what I really wanted was both of the people I loved to work with me to save the inhabitants of Earth. To me, nothing else was as important.