“I” have many names. Legally, Casondra Paetow, to my fans, Casondra Starseed, and to my husband most of the time “Tris.” “We” have DID formerly known as MPD or multiple personality disorder. Yes, I hear voices in my head, they even take “possession” of my body and I lose that time. Lose meaning, have no memory of what happened.
A few days after our 27th birthday, my last front personality had a complete breakdown and tried to kill us.
Before the breakdown for 8 years my last personality created an amazing life and was highly overachieving. She created her own online businesses, used online side hustling to make money, wrote two books on spirituality, ran this blog, and was an orgone engineer as well as a youtube personality who did Pleiadian channelings and reported conspiracy news. She was also completely obsessed with researching and compiling information and knowledge. She barely slept and kept strict binders of information and journals on her findings. She (we) is and are a member of OTO, and devoted to Gnosticism, and magickal thinking. She studied goetia and Carl Jung, and came to the conclusion that the 72 demons of the goetia were actually 72 parts of our brain. We observed people and society as they were part of her biggest questions. Her head was endlessly riddled with “why?” questions. And they needed answers, they still do. They drive us all to spend our time making sense out of our own existence. She knew the voices in her head were not normal to others and sought to find answers in the veils between fringe science, psychology and Gnosticism.
In her last video she details the specifics on Orgone, mind control, scalar waves and the future of Humanity. Here. (PLEASE WATCH) It was within a day of posting this she had her breakdown. I was a voice in her head, when I wasn’t in Wonderland/Underland; and now she is a voice in my head, though I suspect she returns to Wonderland because she is not always present.There is also a third personality who is quite scary and emotionless and only comes out when neither Casondra or I can handle a situation.
Due to MK Ultra projects such as the Monarch project as well as numerous others and whistleblowers, we know that the government can and does hijack consciousness. We know from the Monarch Project alone that they can intentionally program/cause DID/MPD and then give that subject certain prescription drugs to induce an “alter state” they can also use trigger words and phrases to induce these states, and they are riddled throughout pop culture, mainstream music and more. As much as we love the TV Show Archer, there are certain trigger phrases (phrasing) that cause me to almost vomit. These are the same words that my rapist would use on me to make me forget whatever happened and induce the alter state. Because I am now 27, and I have used LSD to regain my lost memories and reconnect neural pathways, these trigger words that Casondra discovered no longer work on us. We have those memories. I can’t describe the number of books we are reading and have read on the science of memory and people with MPD. How we can have access to some memories, vague recollections of some memories, photographic and videographic memories of things and then no access at all to other memories. It is frustrating and not very scientific at all. I would actually say that it is a case by case situation of what the brain has figured out. If Casondra had not studied psychology and Gnosticism, this body would be sitting in a mental asylum somewhere drugged to a vegetable state like other members of my family. Permanently in Wonderland forever.
In Wonderland, I have been made to breath underwater repeatedly, jump out of black helicopters and do various black ops, and use astral abilities to complete various tests. The more you learn about lucid dreaming the better off you are in Wonderland which is complete with two way mirror doors and trick walls, mirrors, corners, castles, labyrinths, cities, planets and other universes. I’ve been on a mountain of a planet with trees like on Earth, but the sky had two suns and two moons. The black ops are not always astral ability based, I’ve been a scientist in labs, but most of all I’ve evacuated numerous situations. It seems like we are very good at finding ourself in a body, trapped somewhere, in some crazy weird situation and creating ways out, endlessly running through woods trying to get away from people in every kind of uniform imaginable. Red coats, black uniforms, blue ones, white ones, always someone chasing and hunting us. There are other experiences on other planets, where I am a blue person.
Why do these experiences matter enough to even discuss? Lets admit we know that the governments of the world have the technology or “magick-science” to cause dissociation, trigger alter personalities to be Manchurian candidates, patsies for false flags all over the world, the secret space program has stargates that work off tachyons. Unlike the show stargate, it is not your body that is traveling, it is your CONSCIOUSNESS. Due to the fact you cant remember what you are supposed to forget, most people do not realize they lose time until it happens a lot, to the point their consciousness realizes something is wrong. Its very likely and possible, that humans are like coral. The polyps believe they are having separate experiences when in reality they are all connected. The astral plane which we all dream and learn on is an ether nexus of time space. We are all connected just as the coral are, we literally leave our bodies and do the autopilot on others, You must admit to yourself you have an autopilot that kicks in sometimes, maybe working, or driving, and it just happens.
What I am saying is that, this is what explains all “possession”phenomena, in DIDNOS (Dissociative identity disorder, not otherwise specified) patients, I have seen people who appear to “channel” if you will, other people from places they have never been, people they’ve never met, completely random personalities that are atypical of the disorder. They have their own lives and stories, seemingly are just in another person’s body.
Beyond this, if the government is causing dissociation, using the alters as patsies, Manchurian candidates and supersoldiers, on the physical dimension as well as the astral ether nexus, then you must at once realize the importance of your own dreams and life. Yes, there are Freudian dreams the brain appears responsible for that seem to be the brain working out daily events and storing information, but then there are things that go wildly beyond that, and are too coincidental. The future of space travel, and time travel indeed, will operate off of transfer of consciousness. It may be to temporary clone bodies as well as other humans and species on and off this world. They are already doing it, it is a matter of when this will all become public knowledge.
Ignorance about this issue is causing massive repercussions in the world.For one, we have these “mass shootings” and people are brainwashed in every way. The media screams for “gun control” disarming law abiding citizens, when a) these people are mind controlled by b) prescription drugs and weaponized cell phone towers and HAARP as well as c) space satellites targeting people known as Targeted Individuals. WHY would the governments of the world do this?
1) To institute their New World Order and Agenda 21.
2) Because people do not grow when they are in fear. If you live in fear, of immigrants, war, society collapse, the apocalypse, people with guns, terrorists, and all the other crap they jam down our throats, you are living and reacting in fear. Unless you are trained otherwise to do so. The fight/flight mechanism is constantly on, you are too scared and overwhelmed with life and the world to figure any of this out.
3) Because when humanity wakes from it’s slumber, and the veils are lifting rapidly, they will cease to be slaves of a certain race that’s been enslaving us since humans were engineered from the Nephilim/Annunaki. And by all means, including sacrifice, they are trying to put that off.
All the while, normal everyday people make fun of “those who hear the voices” the religiously ignorant accuse us of “being possessed”. All the while, I would argue, from a gnostic point of view, that perhaps some of us who “hear the voices” are your evolution. While some of us go insane and cannot cope, due to the misunderstanding and lack of common knowledge about all these covered subjects, DID is a curse for some of these people. You also may not know that it is common for a person with DID to be MISdiagnosed for 8-10 years as Schizophrenic. But to me, I take Mr. Joseph Campbell’s advice: “The schizophrenic is drowning in the same waters the mystic swims in delight. Edgar Cayce made the same observation.” I believe my DID has been a gift, not a curse.
The breakdown of my DID system at age 27 probably occurred due to my other personalities desperate attempt to rationalize what was happening to us, and the world. She could use the other altars and come back at will. I was gone for 8 years and I am still learning to let go, to let others come in and help me when I want to. It is scary to let go, but I believe now that because she left all this information for all of us to understand, we are working as a team. We are sisters, even the scary personality who we just call “Level 3.” We share an innerspace and a body. We work together to live a life full of mystery, adventure and sometimes scary experiences. But we’ve grown from them. We are parts that make up a whole, and I wouldnt be surprised if there are 72 of us. We are each a little different, mirroring the kabbalistic tree of life. This is one Casondra made and said it was a map of us. My husband says she is cold and calculated, that I am kind and loving and Level 3 has no emotion and dead eyes.
We are not possessed, and anyone who thinks so should get raped until their consciousness dissociates, their personality literally shatters and your consciousness lives in the ether. Some original hosts never find their way back. But the strong ones do. Some spirits are indomitable. The only demons that exist are the 72 demons from the goetia, and they exist as parts of your brain (per Carl Jung). So when someone is “possessed” and saying things that don’t make sense, a dissociation has occurred, and at that time anything from the space time continuum can be communicated. When people learn to control it we call it channeling, or mediums. When it’s uncontrolled we call it madness, schizophrenia, DID or MPD. I sometimes wonder if (for me the breakdown) this is a side effect of the Bornless Ritual, which is of course the attempt to summon and control these 72 demons/parts of the brain. So far I’ve got three under control, and they even operate outside my body. My other personality wakes me up out of a dead sleep if my husband turns on porn. She feels I should “do” something about this as funny as it seems. She helps keep an eye on my children. She is a watcher, when she’s not in Wonderland. If I close my eyes I can see her third point perspective sometimes. Even though she is an alter, she never realized it until I came back after her suicide attempt. I began to make sense of all this information, and most of all, began to feel like the “normal” people were the scariest of all, because they wanted to experiment on us, to “fix” us, with drugs, EMDR, EST, and other horrible things. Our very existence as multiples symbiotically sharing a body was a threat to their reality and there are still certain idiotic scientists and physicians who dare to deny our existence and claim we are making it up. For us, the defining moment of Fight Club – when he realizes he is also Tyler Durdan, happened to us a few months ago, when my last alter tried to kill us. It must be nice to be able to deny the existence of multiples because you are still single minded from not having a traumatic experience. Beyond that, people rarely ask or wonder where our fractured consciousnesses go when our alters take over. Personally, I’m beginning to be convinced the reason for the denial is because if the reports from people with MPD/DID are taken seriously, our government is guilty of quite a number of disturbing and horrific crimes including child sex rings, ritualized abuse and trafficking, false flags, hijacking and inputting consciousnesses for black ops that cover themself up. I would almost guarantee that certain people are paid off to say that we are all making it up. But to anyone who conducts their own investigation, this is ALL true. Whatever you think the worst thing they could be doing is, what they are actually doing is 100x worse. And ignoring it, for the sake of pretending reality makes sense and everything is fine does not make it better. In fact this will continue to worsen, and society will degrade until we revolt and confront these issues OR until they have their totalitarian government and the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual slavery of today will seem like freedom. The symptoms of sickness in society reflect all of us. We let a small group of elite control and influence us because we are afraid of working together, afraid of each other, afraid of anarchy. We are afraid we cannot take care of each other so we let a “government” do it. This is called “the artificial womb of government.” Our government is not FOR the people, it is against the people. It is for controlling people, how the behave, how and what they think which is brainwashed into them in public schooling. I have only scratched the surface of this major problem. The problem that they keep us ignorant, and ignorant people are so easy to control.
As a person with DID, I am NOT easy to control, I am divergent. I think differently because there are many of me, so I put things together most people dont because there are many of me to figure it out, many of me to advise, and critique, and think about things from different perspectives. They never shut up, they never leave me alone, I am never alone. The voices tell me to read books, to research things, to create. They are parts of me, they are MY demons AND my angels.
Thus, I have learned through Gnosticism, the most important rule is “trust yourself.” Or in my case, myselves.
Not doctors, not therapists, not police, not government, for they all have hidden agendas. We must research, and judge for ourselves, and trust ourselves.
We are the coral and separateness is an illusion.
Welcome to the rabbit hole. I await the human revolution.
My yt channel
Casondra’s YT channel